Meet Auntie Civ, the world’s only anti-civilization advice columnist!
Hello children,
It’s my 88th birthday today, which reminds me that it’s been far too long since I promised to answer your letters. I just don’t get around as well as I used to! But the collapse of civilization doesn’t wait for old ladies, so let’s get this party started.
Dear Auntie Civ,
How do you propose to bring down ‘civilization as we know it?’
Remarcus
Dear Remarcus,
Great question! It reminds me of a joke that’s been around since the Roman Empire. A soldier brags that he’s going to kill an elephant and eat the whole thing — by himself. The other soldiers scoff at him. “How can you eat an elephant?” one asks. “Simple,” says the first soldier. “One bite at a time.”
Rome didn’t fall in a day, and none of us can bring down civilization all at once. What we can do is help it along a bit by greasing the skids, fighting to preserve those parts of Mother Nature that are still intact, and monkeywrenching the forces of destruction.
I can hear you asking, “But how do you do that?” Well, here’s some examples.
- Challenge timber sales
- Blockade logging roads
- Stop local governments from adopting development plans
- Support First Nations land claims
- Sabotage the careers of pro-development politicians
- Take the bastards to court
- Tear down flagging tape
- Uproot survey stakes
- Shoot out electrical transformers
- Cut fibre-optic cables
- Destroy earth-wrecking machines
- Hack the computer systems of earth-wrecking companies
Years ago, when I ran around with a posse, we made a conscious decision that we were on side with anything that slowed down the destruction, or stopped it even for a minute, or cost the company money, or exposed it to public embarrassment and drove down its market share. As long as no one got hurt. And you know what? We won. It was like a death from a thousand cuts, and you better believe when Goliath hit the ground, the shock wave was felt all the way to Ottawa.
Dear Auntie Civ,
Is it possible for the Earth to feed 6 billion people without civilization? I’m worried that if we all go live in the woods at once and use hunting or slash and burn farming to feed ourselves we’ll destroy nature.
Bacchus
Dear Bacchus,
It isn’t possible to feed 6 billion people right now, with civilization. That’s why millions of people are starving. That’s why more and more desperate, hungry people are resorting to slash-and-burn farming and destroying nature to feed themselves. Much of the best farmland has already been ruined by agricultural chemicals or paved over for subdivisions. Much of what’s left will be devastated by climate change and drought. This is happening now, because of civilization.
You see, we’ve exceeded the carrying capacity of the planet. It’s horrifying to contemplate a future in which hundreds of millions will die for lack of food, clean water, medicine, transportation, heat, air conditioning, and so on. I’ve thought about it a great deal, and I’ve come to the conclusion that fighting to defend and restore the land and the water is the only sane response to the crisis we face.
All my love,
Auntie Civ
X0X0X0
Send your questions to auntieciv (at) gmail.com.
Please note: Auntie Civ does not counsel people to commit illegal acts. This column is for entertainment and educational purposes only. If you wanna go fuck shit up, that’s between you and your conscience.
auntie civ, i like a lot of wat you have to say, but there currently IS enough food for 6 bil. people, but due to capitalist driven imperialism and gun-point free trade, the excess of food doesn’t reach millions of people. and the potential land that could also be used for productive means for feeding people even cheaper(though that wont matter once we crush capitalism) is wasted on unedible corn used for high fructose corn syrup, and to feed environment-destroying cows. (this is obviously a simplified version of this situation)
I agree codyb it’s just a matter of distribution. The problem with the current food supply tho is it relies heavily on oil for fertiliser and for distribution, I think that’s going to be the fun thing to sort out after the revolution…..
Currently there is enough food for 6 billion people, thanks to civilization and modern technology.
The ‘potential land’ you speak of needs to be wilderness.
The way we grow food now is unsustainable, and necessitates constructing a system around it that invariably becomes what we know today as civilization.
A sustainable relationship with the earth requires a hunter/gatherer lifestyle, in which case there is a limited carrying capacity.
If feeding 12 billion people is your goal, don’t worry, Monsanto can help.
I find the corporations and major political clowns continue to support the expansion of their individual agendas, via profit and votes.
To their end, at the cost of the disenfranchized and starving being doled out pittance and scraps of education that the “elite” deem acceptable.
Our present-day world population is not on a viable survivor mode.
If you think this planet can sustain the further expansion of even one more human, then what responsible society will assure the rights and freedoms to be free for the rest of their individuals lives.
We have destroyed our only planet, with the population we have now we can’t even save those starving people in perpetuity.
Between the ‘corporate & political’ “machines” of today, THEY only look to the future for continuity of a collective profit share from the top down, with absolute disregard for our planet, whether you think of it blue or green, unless the “machines” recognize a profit.
“YES, Todays society has given us hopes and dreams,
BUT, Todays society has also taken away our reality!!!”
In Solidarity (IS)
Dan.